Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Peering Through the Darkness/SNAGS

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I'd love to say that 2009 has started out the same as any other year, cold, snowy, etc.; that much it has but 2009 has also been horrible emotionally. I can't put my finger on any one thing; just the darkness, chill, dreariness. We had over a foot of snow on Friday night through Saturday afternoon. It was coming down at well over an inch an hour. I was stuck in the house until Saturday evening feeling more than stir crazy. Pittsburgh was pretty much spared but I'm 50 miles north of Pittsburgh and that much closer to Lake Erie.

Actually, I've been feeling like I've been walking through a fog, a black fog, since right after the new year. Not fun but nothing totally new to me. But it's been a very long time since it's been quite so dark in my world. I'm behind in reading blogs. I couldn't force myself to sit down at the computer and write an entry. I was numb to PSP. Depression sucks but is surmountable. The fog is lifting but the weather still sucks. I know that many here are also struggling. Say a prayer for all who are suffering the winter blues.

Megan is home and working at Eat'nPark waitressing and searching for a job. We were continuously butting heads at first. It's been a struggle because we are so much alike. It's not like school vacations when I know she will be going back to school soon. Ugh, it sounds like I can't stand my daughter. Actually, I love her to death. Too much togetherness with two strong personalities. Things have been relatively quiet on the home front recently, knock on wood.

Becky has a new BF. It's someone she knew from high school and met up with again. He's about to be discharged from the Army, having been injured in Iraq. I haven't posted my Christmas pictures yet, oy. He is on them. And....she went to visit his relatives with him after Christmas, who now live in Delaware, and came home with his great grandma's engagement ring. Ok, I'm worried but she will be 28 soon. I know many who have known right away that they met their special someone. Still I have some underlying fears which I'm not even going to get into right now.

That's where I am and what I've been doing.....having a huge pity party. Now, its time to pull myself up by the boot straps and step back into life again. I took some pics of the snow that I haven't uploaded yet. It's certainly not nearly the most we've ever had but sure was a lot to get in a 12 hr period.

Hugs n Love to all of you....CHRIS


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39 comments:

DB said...

Hi Chris. The Campaigns, the Election, Christmas, New Years. The end of the year was a big, loud, busy affair. Then nothing. I think it's normal to be blue now. Picking up and getting on with life is the best option. DB

nancy said...

HI Chris,
Sorry I haven't stopping by, I snagged those snowmen tags, they all are cute. Yes, I hear you it's cold here in New York and I'm trying to stay warm and you do the same. Take care..Nancy

Robyn said...

I hear you so Chris and have been feeling that winter funk here also! I have made 2 tags and had to force myself to do that. I haven't even been playing music here at home like I always do. I also got out of bed two days ago and told hubby "It is time for a life overhaul, time for me to get moving again". Personally laying in bed has been funner until a couple days ago lol. Let's get outta our funks together! :)It definately seems we aren't the only ones. Love & Hugs to you and a better 09'! Even if we started out not so great, there is plenty of of it left to make it a better year ;)

Robyn said...

Great tags also ;) I snagged the bottom one

Janie said...

Terry Ann is burned out on making tags and in the same mood. I was in that mood not too long ago. Just need a break sometimes. You should try a retired husband!!! lmbo Two women can not live in one house!! lol Will keep all of you in my prayers. We all need prayers, don't we? Love, hugs, and prayers, Janie

Missie said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling down in the dumps. Winter depression hasn't really hit me this season thank goodness.

Pamela said...

I'm sorry you've been depressed. I understand it...believe me. When I've been down you always tell me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Now it's my turn to tell you that.
2008 was a rough one for me too. I'm hoping '09 will be calm. That's all I want. Calm. I hope we both get it.
Can't believe all of your snow! It's been 80 here! Today it's HOT. I've got the fans going. Crazy, huh?
Congrats to Becky. I hope things work out for her.
Lots of hugs and love to you!

Carlene Noggle said...

Chris,
It hurts my heart to know that you are in such a funk...and you are right so many folks are now days.and yes I too know that even though you love your kids wit all your heart, kids can drive you insane too. I know you are worried about the engagement thing too...I would be also.
please know that I am saying a prayer for you tonight and I hope God hurries and sends you some peace.
love,
carlene

Sugar said...

sorry you are depressed, it's that time of yr isn't it?
got you & family in my prayers.
love the tags. :)
huggies...

Sharon said...

I love these graphics. I'm in a funk too. Wanna hear the weirdest? Last night I dreamed Bethe (sunnybethe) and I drove to Ohio to meet you (even though you live in PA) and then went around the bend to meet up with LJ...roflmao!
Geeesh....maybe someday!!

Chrissie said...

Not to say anything, but John and I knew early that we wanted to marry and ours last almost 25yrs. I think if we had had a normal marriage it would have lasted longer, but the military and time apart ruined us in the end. That is the time you should be coming together all the time. So who knows. I wish your daughter the best.
I know what you mean. I have days like that too where I don't want to read anybody or I barely want to write. I force myself to write just so I can remember what day what happened.
It'll all come back you'll see. Give it time everyone hates winter usually we all need that sunshine.
Take care, Chrissie

ADM DESIGN'S said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling down in the dumps. Great tags

a corgi said...

(((Chris))) will keep you in my prayers; I'm so sorry its been a funk already; its hard times and I think its easy to just keep worrying and being concerned about things and then sort of spiral downward into despair and depression. This is when I give my usual "don't forget who you are in the Lord's eyes; a dearly beloved daughter and sister to Jesus; doesn't get any better than that". I know its "lip service" but that very thought saved me on some of my darkest days; read Psalms, always good for seeing the perspective of others going through rough times too; put on some praise music and sing with it; and cry too if you feel like crying. and remember spring will be here soon!

congrats to Becky; I know first date with my hubby he was the one and we are married 28 years; my mom had misgivings though....you know us moms :)

betty

Barb said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DEAR FRIEND. So sorry you are in a funk, a fog, the blues, whatever. We're still recovering from the past couple of months. I guess losing Richard's Mom wasn't such a shock. The holidays do seem to rush in and leave us with a let down. I'm sorry it's SO cold and snowy up there. I'd love to have some snow here cuz it's usually gone in a day or 2. LOL. About Becky....I wouldn't worry. She's a savvy young woman. Richard told me he loved me on our 4th date, so we'd known each other what, 4 days? LOL And I was 17 & he was 23. He proposed to me exactly 1mo to day we met. Then a couple of weeks after I got the ring, he had to leave KS and come back to TX. We only saw each other every other weekend because it was an 800 mile drive ONE way (He was working down by Old Mexico)Until we got married 2mos after he left. So we knew each other exactly 4 mos. Here we are 36 yrs later. I wish her love & luck. And my New Year's wish for you is good health, the sun on your face and an early spring, Oh and good health for your BF. Take care dear friend.
Love N Hugs, Barb

Barb said...

P.S. THIS is the BEST music playing on your blog. Crystal Blue Persuasion is one of my favorite songs of ALL time. No kidding. AND Happy Together. Just wanted to tell ya I enjoyed the tunes.
Love ya, Barb

Jeannette said...

I'm sorry you feel low Chris, it's the worse time of the year for depression with all the bad weather and the post Christmas blues. Spring will soon be here, I'm sure you'll feel better then. I know what you mean about having kids around, as much as you love them they can drive you crazy! I do hope Becky and her new BF will last the distance, that was a sweet gesture to give her his grandmothers engagement ring. I love the snags, even though I don't like snow, I love snowmen! Take care, I hope the snow goes soon! Jeannette xx

Joan said...

So nice to hear from you have missed you lots. Hope the snow vanishes we have not had very much here just a flake here and there. Hope your clouds lift soon. Love Joan

Hollie said...

Chris,
I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers. I'm sure all that snow doesn't help either. Just remember Spring is going to come.....

Hugs:) to you dear friend!

Thanks for the beautiful tags!

lisa jo said...

I would do ANYTHING to take away your blues...but damn, i am so right there with you i fear i'd make you worse.
we have 6 inches of snow coming down right now. I am in dire fear of driving in that tonight.
Thank you for these tags..i always love your work....please Chris, email me or call if you need me. I think of you 100 times a day. I pray pray that Becky's new BF is GOOD for her!!!! XOXOXOXO

Jan said...

Sorry to hear you are down Chris ,I am feeling pretty miserable too ,I have the flu and I had my shot !!cant win can we ? ..love Jan xx

ADB said...

The start of the year is always a dark and dismal time, with little prospect of immediate cheer. I hope you'll feel better soon, though, Chris

Kath said...

Awwww I am so sorry you have felt down Chris.I know the feeling been there often.It's terrible.I am happy though you say it is on it's way out again.It makes me wonder why it just comes along and knocks us so down at these times.I do hope the snow bates and you dont' get much more.Also sorry about you and dauhter.I've been there too plenty.Touch wood though we are hitting things off well of late.I hope all goes well with the engagement ring thingy too.Maybe it's not as bad as you think.If she seems happy ley her be I say she'll live and learn if nothing comes of it. LOL!! Don't we all with time.Love Ya. Take Care God Bless hugs you soon feel well.xx Kath

Maria-K. said...

Sure hope you will feel better soon. I always enjoy hearing from you....and I understand it can not be always good, even though this is what I wish for. Hang in there and try to pamper you a little bit.
Best wishes. Maria

Jackie said...

Chris, Chris, Chris!! {{{hugs}} I have been computerless till recently, and I kept hoping that (like Joyce and Ne) you would send me an alert because I don't have AOL anymore and could not figure out how to save favorites on this new puter! Well, I have now, so I have you in favorites and will be visiting you more often. I hate this new thing where we don't get alerts! :(
Anyway.. I am so sorry you are feeling so down and depressed. I know winters are hard for you anyway, but I also know that things have been going on with your kids and that can really bring you down. I just want to apologize for not having been around, but I will be here from now on! If you care to send me an alert when you post I would love it, if not, I will still check my favorites and catch up that way!
You are in my prayers, my sweet and dear friend, and I have missed you..

Love
Jackie

Terri said...

((((((((((Chris))))))))

I totally understand depression, i've been there before myself...I'm sorry your going through this...and am hoping for brighter days ahead for you...please know your not alone...we are always here for you!

Can't wait to see your pictures!

Hugs
Terri

Joyce said...

The Chinese symbol for discontent is a roof with two woman under it. My mom used to say that two adults should not live in the same house unless they are sleeping together...lol. So I don't think it has anything to do with loving each other. I hope your depression passes soon. It's such a dark place to live.
Big hugs, Joyce

FrankandMary said...

I've had a couple of people express the same sentiments as written in this entry. I know it is a combo of time of year & weather, but I hope it lifts for you soon.

Nelishia said...

I have the exact same feelings this winter. Depressed, angry and emotional. I hope it passes soon or I can muster up that old fire and evict it once again. I also hope that the new fiance is so good to your daughter and knows what a precious gift he has. Your older and wiser unspoken version worries me though for her. It'd be hard to live with any of your grown children if you both are exactly alike unless you both do everything the exact same way all the time. I always love your tags and these are so gorgeous as always. I think about you every day too just want you to know.
In my prayers gf!
Nelishia

Nelishia said...

I forgot to say that Dirk knew from about the first date that I was the one he wanted to spend his life with. It took some months for me to find courage enough to even consider it but it was a romantic whirlwind that has lasted two years and we adore each other still. He still does romantic things and calls every single day at lunch. Sometimes wonderful does happen.

sheri said...

Hi Chris,
I can understand your winter time blues..Hope it doesn't stay with you for too long. The early sunset is usually what makes me feel depressed.
So when I notice that it is staying light out longer, I always feel like spring is just around the corner. I noticed the other day that it was still light out at 4:30. So at least now I know we are on our way to warmer and brighter days...
Stay warm and toasty and have a good week-end,
Hugs, Sheri

Indigo said...

Skye and I are the same way you and Megan are. Strong peronalities.

January is the saddest month of the year. It's an anticlimax to the holidays and excitement we just went through.

Your in my thoughts dear one, it won't be dreary weather forever. (Hugs)Indigo

Rose~* said...

Hope you're feeling better, Chris - this lousy weather sure doesn't help lift the spirits, that's for sure. And speaking of fog . . . we have had nothing but fog all week long over here. Thank goodness I've been busy with the household chores, that take much longer now that my wrist is sore. Can't wait to see the pictures that you took of the snow. Your tags are soo cute. Love them. (((HUGS)))

Penny said...

You know you are in my prayers, gal. Not a day goes by . . .
Thanks so much for birthday comments. I feel like a new woman. Hugs and blessings, Penny

Carolina said...

STOPPING BY TO SAY HELLO-HALF THE TIME I CANT REMEMBER BY PASSWORD-SENDING HUGS YOUR WAY FROM WASHINGTON!

*GREAT SNAGS!

Joyce said...

My apologies...I opened this when you sent it out...thought I had commented and as it states I didn't...but here I am to say, if there was a way to take your blues away...I would do it. So happy for Becky...new beau and all. Megan is a hard working young lady, like her Mom. Things have got to get better for all of us...many hugs and love to you my friend...love you!!!
Joyce

~Ann~ said...

Hi Chris!!!
I thought I better get my booty over here to say hello. I get blue during the winter months too. I dont know why, I always have. I definately can relate.

Barb said...

Dropped bY see how stoked you were about the Steelers. Pretty happy I'd say. LMAO at the song. That's too great. Wish we could all get together for a SB Party. We are Steelers fans too. When Tom was in jr high he wore a Steelers Coat. LOL Dangerous in "Cowboy" country. LOL I hate the "Crackwagon" (the Cowboys as I call them.) Anywho, I'll be rootin too.
Love ya. Hope your blues are subsididing. Mine...some.
Hugs, Harb * queenb

sheri said...

Chris, just dropping in to say Hi!
Hope all is well.
Sheri

Maria said...

Hello, Chris! I was just thinking I hadn't seen an entry from one of my favorite bloggers...that would be you....and thought I would drop by and read your entry today...and enjoyed the Pittsburgh Steelers music! I live in Pittsburgh from age 3 to age 12 so I have fond memories.... I was sad to hear you were feeling overwhelmed....Sometimes things don't always work out like we would like..sounds like you might need some positive thinking! Just know that you do make a positive difference in quite a few lives...check out all your comments in this entry! I think I am number 39. People are thinking about in a positive light! Also, I have one of your older angel gifs, which I just love, on my 'Are You Positive' blog! Hang in there! Love to hear more from you soon. Maria