Sunday, January 25, 2009

Steeler Mania/answers and More Questions/SNAG

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First of all, I want to send all of you the biggest hug in the world. You've all come through for me with your love and support. Feel free to snag the first of the Valentines Day tags I made (actually the only one so far.)

Steeler mania has swept the Burg big time. Truthfully, I never expected the Steelers to end up at the Super Bowl this year at all. Total surprise. I thought the Titans had it in the bag. Anyway, this city is going absolutely crazy, me included. LOL at the first of my Steeler maniac pics below. Some guy at work gave me those black things to put below my eyes. This pic was taken with my cell phone.

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So, anyway, my black mood has lifted. Good news/not so good news. I had a gyne appointment on Thursday. I hadn't had one in 3 or 4 years because my doctor moved to Fla. My fault, of course, for putting it off. Anyway, may be too much info for some but I've been in menopause for 6 years. The doctor was examining me and asking me if it was my time of the month...heck no. Had I had any bleeding....nope. My endometrial tissue is too thick so I'm having an ultrasound done tomorrow and a biopsy will be scheduled if the uterine lining is too thick. He feels and I agree that my hormones are raging again which would explain the totally black mood after the New Year. My son asked me a week ago if I was having PMS. LOL...I didn't think so but now I do. I think I was having a horrendous bout of PMS. It's been so long I had forgotten how out of whack emotionally I used to get right before my period.

So, off I went to get a bunch of blood work done to check my hormone levels and thryoid. If my hormones are out of whack, then the pituitary gland and another gland need to be checked. Too many things to think about so I choose not to. Megan, bless her, says it's going to be just fine because of her experience. My Joey thinks I'm hiding something. I'm not because the doctor said very little. My BF was so upset. Now, he's saying he doesn't think I'd be strong enough to handle anything bad and that's what upset him. Pffft....Pissed me off, pardon my French. I'm far stronger than he imagines. He wouldn't be able to handle it, in my opinion. So, good thoughts, prayers, etc. please. It will probably be a while before I know what's going on.

I'm plodding away at visiting your blogs. Forgive me if it's taking me a while. I seem to be so far behind all the time.

Love n Hugs to all.....CHRIS

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Peering Through the Darkness/SNAGS

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I'd love to say that 2009 has started out the same as any other year, cold, snowy, etc.; that much it has but 2009 has also been horrible emotionally. I can't put my finger on any one thing; just the darkness, chill, dreariness. We had over a foot of snow on Friday night through Saturday afternoon. It was coming down at well over an inch an hour. I was stuck in the house until Saturday evening feeling more than stir crazy. Pittsburgh was pretty much spared but I'm 50 miles north of Pittsburgh and that much closer to Lake Erie.

Actually, I've been feeling like I've been walking through a fog, a black fog, since right after the new year. Not fun but nothing totally new to me. But it's been a very long time since it's been quite so dark in my world. I'm behind in reading blogs. I couldn't force myself to sit down at the computer and write an entry. I was numb to PSP. Depression sucks but is surmountable. The fog is lifting but the weather still sucks. I know that many here are also struggling. Say a prayer for all who are suffering the winter blues.

Megan is home and working at Eat'nPark waitressing and searching for a job. We were continuously butting heads at first. It's been a struggle because we are so much alike. It's not like school vacations when I know she will be going back to school soon. Ugh, it sounds like I can't stand my daughter. Actually, I love her to death. Too much togetherness with two strong personalities. Things have been relatively quiet on the home front recently, knock on wood.

Becky has a new BF. It's someone she knew from high school and met up with again. He's about to be discharged from the Army, having been injured in Iraq. I haven't posted my Christmas pictures yet, oy. He is on them. And....she went to visit his relatives with him after Christmas, who now live in Delaware, and came home with his great grandma's engagement ring. Ok, I'm worried but she will be 28 soon. I know many who have known right away that they met their special someone. Still I have some underlying fears which I'm not even going to get into right now.

That's where I am and what I've been doing.....having a huge pity party. Now, its time to pull myself up by the boot straps and step back into life again. I took some pics of the snow that I haven't uploaded yet. It's certainly not nearly the most we've ever had but sure was a lot to get in a 12 hr period.

Hugs n Love to all of you....CHRIS


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